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posted by Janissary @ 11:48 PM 3 comments

## Traced

## Network Erosion
# Standby
. . .
## Reveal

posted by Janissary @ 11:45 PM 0 comments

Conflict of interest

I've never been so confused before in all my life.

Last nights party at Avalon held more than a few revalations, and none of them from the most likely of sources. I spoke with KenedaJade outside the club -- a conversation that was met with a bit of nervousness on both our ends. Oddly enough, he seemed to not want to talk about the matter in front of his Captain, and when I saw Eunoia walk by I got a bit nervous myself. After that one, we decided to take the meeting to a different location.

Maybe he's right. While I had heard the solution before, maybe I hadn't heard it from the right person? He told me that maybe what I was looking for was forgiveness -- redemption for the crimes I have committed. I can honestly say that I'm not looking to be forgiven, because I don't believe it would help, nor would I ever get it. But in what else he said, that running away won't help. . well, it's an old cliche but he's probably right.

In reinsertion, I may in fact have more to lose than to gain. I'd be defenseless with no memories of my enemies. I wouldn't be able to see through the promises I believe in so dearly. I wouldn't be able to protect my loved ones. .

So what do I have to gain? Well, I honestly can't answer that question. Keneda said that matter what, reinsertion won't put my soul to rest. From what I've seen, I'm starting to believe less and less in souls. Regardless, I personally would be in a much better position. No Exit would be in less danger than it is now, from both our enemies and my own cursed luck. It would end a lot of grief for my Mother and Sister who don't know the truth as to why I'm gone all the time now.

. . .

I really don't know what I'm doing anymore. We're all acting as if I'm leaving tonight but I don't know. I just. Don't. Know.

I'm not asking for help, because I believe that everyone has said their piece. I guess we'll just find out tonight, right?

posted by Janissary @ 2:08 AM 1 comments

Eggshells and those that walk upon them

Once again, live from the blue pill home of one Fallon Williams, here's Janissary.

Only a few short days away from my reinsertion into the system and it has more than a few people very. . concerned, I suppose is the right word for it. In my last post, I said that we're all working under the assumption that I'm getting reinserted. I suppose it's all for real now.

I keep trying to fathom the fact that no, I'm not going to remember any of this. All these lates, sitting in front of a terminal and typing out these words will all be for nothing. The friendships I've built and the people I've grown so close with in this short time won't be able to reach me, because no matter what I'll be too far away.

Veneer I think hit home the closest-

You won't remember me if I bought you a cup of coffee one day, or if I went rampant and took over half the Matrix. You can't get around reality.

I made two people make a promise to me in the past two days, both of which are of the utmost importance to me. Whether I remember you guys or not, a promise is a promise.

I was almost entertaining the fact of maybe writing a note to myself, here in the system and placing it in my RSI's pockets. . seeing if maybe it goes through the reinsertion. Maybe I'll just write "No Exit" backwards on my forehead -- see if the Machines let it slide. Ehh, it's all a fantasy though.

And isn't that a fitting way to end this post?

posted by Janissary @ 4:31 AM 2 comments

Iktomi

I know you're out there. Grinning your little head off as you stare into your monitor, relishing in the fact that I'm having to state myself in the open like this. And that's okay. I accept that. I'm starting to accept a lot of things.

I don't have to tell you anything before you know everything.

I told Eunoia. I told her everything -- but that's what you expected me to do, right? I told her that I've been in contact with you for a long time. You used to tell me to not mention you to her. That it would upset her. Man oh man. . if only you were there to see the fire in her eyes when I told her that we've been in contact. I thought she was going to knock my head off.

It was like our own little game, wasn't it? I never bothered to tell her because I didn't think you were of any real importance. Just someone, or something with a bit too much information. Or maybe too much free time on their hands. It wasn't until you linked yourself to her that it all fell together.

Everyone keeps telling me that I have so much potential. So much potential. . And you told me that I could be your little chosen one. How can I have potential, and how can I be the chosen one if I want to be reinserted? If I'm taking the cowards way out, taking the blue pill and returning to dreamland?

I would ask you, but you said it yourself. You're no Oracle. You merely harvest information and despite your confidence, you don't know the future and nor do I. Yet, I do know this. .

Paul. In the event that you fullfill your promise to me . . that after I go back to sleep, you hunt me down, you fill my head with hope and you reawaken me with another red pill. . listen to me.

I swear to you that I will snap out of it. And when I do, I will make sure that you suffer to your very last breath.

We're all working under the assumption that I'm being reinserted by the end of this week. Let's see if I can make it out alive, shall we?

posted by Janissary @ 8:49 AM 3 comments

Getting Smaller

I'm typing this from my home inside the system. Today has been. . Well, let me explain it a little since I doubt he'll ever find my blog. I'm going to keep this short because I'm just not in a real talkative mood.

I must have mentioned this at some point, but my Father is a self-aware blue pill. I'm not sure for how long, but he told me that Zionist recruiters have always tried to pull him out of the system, but he never accepted their offers for our families sake. I guess thats why the Machines never went after him. He never made himself a threat to anybody.

Needless to say, my Dad is a fan of the cause of Zion. He assumes that I work for them, much like he would. I didn't have the heart, nor the guts to tell him otherwise.

As I sit here in my old room, IM'ing old friends and listening to the music left on this machine, I can't help but wonder -- almost seemingly plot. .

Is it possible to go back in time and take the blue pill?

posted by Janissary @ 2:05 AM 8 comments

Eating Glass

## Broadcast Depth
## Incoming Transmission...
## Being
## Loading . . .
## ../toys/backdoor_box.exe
## Complete
## Have a nice day
## Janissary

I'm extremely worn out by my day both in and out of the system, so this is going to be a quick post.

The "Being" is docked here at the Machine outpost, specifically designed for their operatives to refuel, resupply and all that good stuff for the weekend. Why? Well, I'm not certain on the details, but it seems like Eunoia has some business that requires us to sit tight. Jonsey didn't mention anything, so I can only assume that it's nothing too major.

But if I want to speak about anything major, it'll have to be the restoration of my RSI. You see, when the simulacrum took over my RSI, it had an almost virus-like affect on it, leaving our operator Jonsey a lot of backend work to deal with. He warned me today before jacking in that to fully restore my RSI, a few sacrifices had to be made.

The only way I can explain the "sacrifices" is like this. I tried to jump my way up to the top of a small building and I was left to tear and claw my way up the last few feet up because I just didn't make it. Yep. Janny's as weak as a kitten at the moment. I'll live.

On the upswing, I got to slap Veneer today. Not just once, but twice! Talk about taking the good with the bad.

posted by Janissary @ 5:52 AM 2 comments

Take it from here

It felt great to be back in the Matrix today. With a good night's rest and a clear mind under my belt, I felt all different types of refreshed inside the system. Sorta loosey goosey even!

Ides, who is one of my closest friends these days, dropped an interesting idea on me last night while I was peering into the system from onboard the "Being". Much like myself, she too has a problem sleeping out here in the "real", but has none whatsoever while in the Matrix. She suggested that maybe her and I should rent out a place from some blue pill and use it to crash at night. The idea seems a bit odd to me, but she assures me that she jacks out feeling as refreshed as if she had a full 8 hours rest out in the "real" world. Odd to be sure, but I'll have to give it a shot and see if it works.

Oh! Before I forget, one of the red pill news agencies, Megacity Times is doing a series of reports on our faction, No Exit. More people are starting to take notice of us with each passing day, which is good and bad depending on the situation. I find it to be really amazing that while we're not the largest, nor the most powerful faction floating around the system today, we definetly seem to have a good amount of leverage within the system. I'm really proud of what we've accomplished so far.

I'm actually feeling a bit tired, so I'm going to jack out and get some rest. Tomorrow (According to the system, today if you want to get technical) I plan on maybe visiting my parents -- trying out that whole "sleeping inside the system" bit. Of course, I'll let you guys know how it goes. Be safe out there everyone.

posted by Janissary @ 4:22 AM 0 comments